


Super Doki Doki Shsl Yaoi Harem!!

by bombdotnet, chickenpermission



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crack, Crack Relationships, M/M, Underage Drinking, Yaoi, gakuen handsome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8473741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bombdotnet/pseuds/bombdotnet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickenpermission/pseuds/chickenpermission
Summary: What if regular man, hinata hajime was in…. A SUUPA KAWAII YAOI HAREM! Join Hinata in his adventure to find his super yaoi lover in this smexy thriller!!!11111  (hi this is crack just warning u first. but it’s still written with 50% seriousness so the grammar and spelling shouldn’t be too bad most of the time u know. Also this is based off of the gakuen handsome anime)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chef Boy Yard Tea (author #1 owner of account): This is my second crack fic with chicken permission and I regret it deeply. I also regret being born I have no hopes for this fic rather than it rotting in hell. enjoy
> 
> Chicken Permission (author #2): it (doesnt) gets better

**prologue:**

** Hinata looked up at Seme’s Peak Academy, the school he admired so much. He was invited to go here by a mysterious man named Kizakura. He was pretty normal, wasn't homophobic but he HATED yaoi. With a burning passion (and anyone who read it). So when he saw “seme’s peak academy” He was skeptical, however he had no fucking idea what “seme” meant so he didn’t really care. **

** “Anyway,” Hinata took a deep breath through his 91 cm circumference chest. It was time to go to his first day at Seme’s Peak academy **

**Chapter 1:**

Hinata breathed in slowly. This was it. His first day at school. His trembling fingers were raised to the door handle, and he pulled. What he saw next would forever change life.

Sunlight filtered in through the windows, the curtains barely blocking its rays. On a desk the brunette saw…..HE. Wild, white hair that cascaded into faded pink tips curled around his neck, and a long green jacket, with bigger-than-average hands tucked into them. Wait what. Those weren’t just bigger than average. In fact, if Hinata had to guess, he’d say that it was around 91 cm. Because Hinata knows exactly how long 91 cm is.

He noticed Hinata almost immediately, his too-friendly smile calming some of Hinata’s nerves. 

“Ah,” he got off the desk, and started making his way to him, “you must be Hinata-kun, right? I’m Komaeda.”

He extended his huge hands to Hinata. The man was actually a few meters away, but his arm and hand were big enough to reach Hinata from that distance.

Hinata hesitantly took his hand, and shook it. It was extremely awkward, considering the fact that Hinata’s full hand didn’t even measure up to the guy’s thumb.

“Uh, nice to meet you? Are you my teacher?” Hinata’s hand was about ⅛ of the white haired man’s.

Suddenly, Komaeda came really close to hinata’s ear, like, really close.

“Did I ever tell you what you remind me of hinata-kUn?” He said in his whispery, asmr-like voice. 

Hinata was very concerned. But, then again, he got 15 minutes of sleep the night before due to the fact that he had listened to 10 hours of Kahoot music, so it was entirely possible he was hallucinating. 

“What,” Hinata said bluntly. 

“A chestnut, because your chest circumference is so wide and because I’m nutting for you,” he winked, and it felt like it shot a dagger through Hinata’s heart

_ ‘What...the  _ **_fuck_ ** …..,’ was the only coherent thought that Hinata thought.

 


	2. How Rich Can Someone Get~!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ocean leg take me by the leg lead me to the land... that you leg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chef Boy Yard Tea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKDlqdsw1i8 this song is stuck in my head. use it to set the mood for the fanfic, also rip 420 words
> 
> Chicken Permission: N/A 
> 
> (we both still wrote this)
> 
> Underage drinking in this chap btw

Togami byakuya was rich. Very rich. He stored his money inside of his asshole for safe keeping. 

 

“I am SO FUCKING WASTED,” Togami announced as he marched his yaoi legs (which were 61.45% of his body) through the door, then immediately fell over

“Who’s this fucknut?” Hinata questioned as he stared at the ultimate rich brat. He didn’t care about being polite since Mr. Komaeda fucking huge hands almost licced his ear (if he did it wouldn’t be a problem since hinata regularly stuck a whole Q-tip into his ear, so he could sue the company for going deaf.) 

 

“Dndont you knwo whyo I am!11!” Togami screeched into the void as he almost knocked hinata’s head off with his leg. 

 

“Chill man, do your parents know that you’re an alch- I mean drinking?” Hinata asked. 

 

“Don’t you know that all characters in a yaoi don’t have parents?” Togami said as he pushed his glasses farther up onto his nose like they did in the animes. Oh yea. Even if Hinata didnt like yaoi he loved anime. so fucking much. he lived and breathed anime it was his life. "Cory In The House?" that was his SHIT man.

 

“Chotto matte.… m-masaka…did you say… yaoi??? Am I in a yaoi?” 

 

“W-wh- I never siad anayting” Togami drunkenly slurred.   
“KUSO! (Translator’s note: Kuso means dammit) TOGAMI YOU FUCKING BAKA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOUR YAOI TRAP SHUT!” Komaeda screamed as he bitch slapped togami across the face with his 91 cm wide hands. Hinata was v suspicious now… 

 

“Shshhhhhhhh” the white glasses freak whispered. He slipped 2 100$ bills across the table to Hinata.  
“If u keep this secrsrte thaen ki will giv u dis” Hinata didnt know what he was talking about since hinata didn’t really pay attention to anything rather than vaporwave.   
but if there was 1 thing he loved more than v a p o r w a v e it was money. 

 

“Sure man I’m dead inside already so why does it matter¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ “

 

“Chotto matte, how do you say ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ out loud?!?” the white haired bishie asked.  
“You mix coffee with red bull and try to go into the next dimension of space behind a 7/11 at 3 am” 

 

Hinata said nonchalantly, he was kind of getting really creeped out by these people… especially togami’s really long leg...


	3. holy shit !!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hinata goes on a quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chickenpermission: hi sorry for not updating??? i did write most of this chapter to make up for not writing much last chapter, and idk if bombdotnet has any author notes to say but...  
> sorry for any ooc-ness. and for all the love live references.
> 
> btw. komaeda actually says "parentheses" or "brackets" outloud for any part with "( )". He also says "less than three" for <3, and says 'tilde' for ~

The bell rings, and Hinata is thankful. He no longer has to try conversing with Glasses McDrunkface and Kaworu Nagisa. Fantastic.

 

More students began pouring into the room, along with chatter. Hinata stood at the front of the room still, unsure of where to sit within the class.

Togami, however, knows exactly where to go. And that is to jump out the window and land in a pile of cash. What the h-

 

“Class,” even though his voice was still whispery, it was also loud enough for everyone to shut up and listen. “We have a new student today. Please welcome him, but don’t get too close, for he is my dearest sweetheart,” Komaeda shot a wink at him, and Hinata has never wanted to die more.

 

“Wh-wha-” Hinata gets cut off with a huge yaoi finger, silencing his lips.

 

“Haha, just kidding! You’re a student after all, so that would be bad,”

 

Outside the open window, Hinata thinks he can hear an “It’s Joke!” being yelled beneath the class.

 

“Anyway, there’s an open seat by the back window, next to the kawaii Naegi-kun, so you can sit over there,” Hinata thinks he saw Komaeda wink at Naegi, too

 

Wait...Naegi?? Hinata fixated his eyes onto the short male, and indeed, recognized him. He smiled and walked over to his seat.

 

Naegi and Hinata used to be best buds back in elementary school and the first two years of middle school, before Naegi unfortunately had to move away. Back then, he thought it was unlucky, but, now he realizes it must be fate.

 

Naegi looks just as happy to see him, grinning and waving at him. Hinata waves back, as he begins to settle down at his desk. No words were exchanged, due to the fact that they had begun learning about the effect of the Love Live! franchise worldwide, and no one would dare interrupt that.

 

Except when Hinata realized that he needed to take a piss. He tentatively raised his hands, back lowering into the seat.

 

“Ah, yes, Hinata-kun~?” Seriously, when will Komaeda-sensei ever stop winking.

 

“I-uh need to go to the bathroom,” Hinata spoke quickly. He felt pressured by the gaze (more like gays haha) of his peers on him, along with Komaeda-sensei.

 

“Hmm, is that so? Alright! But on one deal,” he made his way over to Hinata’s desk, face getting in close proximity to Hinata’s, “We have to pee together~<3.”

 

Hinata felt all the blood and humanity drain out of him in that very moment.

 

“Haha nah I’m just **shitting** with you there (haha get it)! Yeah sure you can go,” Komaeda-sensei immediately turned around, now talking about how Aqours was definitely not a ripoff of µ's, and anyone who said otherwise would join Togami.

 

Hinata hastily leaves, yet tries to be as discreet as possible.

 

Hinata makes his way down the unfamiliar halls, and wonders why he didn’t ask for directions before he left.

 

He finally saw the washroom sign. It was an all-boys school, so it wasn’t like they needed doors for the entrances of the washrooms. Hinata made his way in, relaxed, and sighed, as he was about to start peeing.

 

Some short dude then came over, right beside Hinata. He just picked. the urinal. next to Hinata. There are 3 other urinals to choose from. What the fuck.

 

“Umm,” Hinata inquisitively glares at him, and he looks back at Hinata, “do you Have to Pick That Urinal?”

 

He scoffs, and Hinata’s first impression about him isn’t doing so good.

 

“Fucker, how do you say things that make it seem like you would be capitalizing those words if they were being written as dialogue?” The angsty blond shortie asks, eyebrows Pointed Downwards.

 

Throughout these few hours or so that he has spent at school, he has come to the conclusion that all of the people here are at least somewhat weird.

 

“I Have No Idea What You Mean,” Hinata responds. He figures he should really just start peeing, but he’d still rather not do it next to this…………………...ok he ran out of things to describe him. This dude was just so weird and bizarre, Hinata doesn't even know what to say about him anymore. 

 

“Oh, so now you’re a fucking homestuck?! This is what it’s about now, huh?!!!!”

 

All Hinata wanted to do was arrive at the washroom, atmosphere silent, zipper undone, dick out, but it looks like he might have to forcibly leave.

 

“Look, dude. I don’t know what your problem is, but-”

 

“SHIT!”

 

Hinata froze, looked over his shoulder, and saw some really buff dude flexing (On an unrelated side note, Hinata thought he could see lightning coming out of his eyes, but then again. 10 hours of Kahoot music does weird things to you).

 

The buff guy immediately ran over to an open stall, slammed it shut, and made…. many noises that Hinata felt uncomfortable about.

 

Hinata and the shortie made eye contact for a split second, and both peed as fast as they could, wanting to get out of the cursed bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im also sorry for that homestuck reference. i have no idea what im doing. thank u for reading i love u all <3.  
> also why doesn't ao3 allow u to just...use tab for indents. why do u have to make a new work skin. wh  
> if there are any mistakes please comment !! or if u have any suggestions, please comment !!


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